The thief of joy.....

This is a just little friendly reminder - mainly for myself - do not compare yourself to others. 

Ever. 

In any situation.

During this weight loss journey I've very publicly embarked on, I have to admit that at times I have fallen into the diabolical comparison trap.....

As I wallow around the 10kg loss mark I know others who have, over the same time period, lost around 30kg.  Or I compare my up and down mindset to those who are consistently focussed and seem to be in control.   Or I look at the people in the gym and despair of ever being as fit, strong and able to wear nice gym gear as them.....

And how do I feel when I conduct these comparisons?  Is it an edifying experience for me? 

No.  I just wind up feeling inadequate, demoralised and diminished. It makes me feel like I haven't done enough, been good enough or persisted enough. 

It makes me feel like I am a bit of a failure.  It makes me think maybe losing weight just isn't for me, that maybe I'm just someone who can't do this.

In the Bible in Galatians (just googled it ) it says that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others  because we'll either be:

a. pretty pleased with ourselves and possibly become completely up ourselves; or

b. dismayed and disgruntled with our lot and our life. 

Instead, we should just do the best we can in our own unique circumstances.  Instead of comparing our achievements to others' - we should look at what is possible in our own life and our own journey, work hard and then enjoy our own achievements and victories.

Well, I'm really trying to take that no comparison mantra on board.  It's really liberating because it frees me from some of my own unealistic expectations, and allows me to celebrate my own little wins.... 

I hope you're keeping the thief of joy at bay, too - but in your own individual way ;)



 

Prizes....

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to be selected as one of the blogs of the round for the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation.  I was, frankly, completely chuffed with the honour.


But adding to my chuffededness - there was a lovely prize attached which arrived last week, on the door step, in a parcel addressed to me and me only.  Here's what was in it. (Thanks to Thing 1 for the lovely photos.)

A little tea infuser and a selection of beautiful organic teas from Tea Tonic in very pretty little tins...

There are some absolute ripper flavours like relaxation tea - which is green tea with lavender - a beautiful berry tea, a dark chocolate and black tea flavour and GLEW tea (which has ginger, lemongrass, echinacea and white tea).  Apparently, the GLEW tea keeps you from coming unstuck, and let's face it we can all use something that does that.

I have been trying to become a herbal tea drinker this round of the 12wbt - I thought it would be a much more mindful and, obviously, healthy alternative to my penchant for a rude Milo of an evening.  This beautiful prize was just what I needed to properly convert me.  There is something so lovely about drinking tea; the way you have to wait while it steeps, draws or brews (or whatever it is it does) and then the sipping of the delicate flavours.  So different to scoffing a Milo..... And the best bit?  No self loathing afterwards!!

But wait... there's more.  I also received a beautiful pack of Dermaviduals skin care products.

I'll be honest - with skin care, I often feel like I'm shutting the gate after the horse has bolted.  I feel like I'm in the mode where you try to stop things from deteriorating further!!  So I'll give any new moisturisers and face creams a red hot go and search dilligently for any signs of improvement to my skin.  The dermavidual products are lovely so far - let's see if they can work miracles.

So I want to say an enormous thank you to those who nominated me.  I really was moved by your support.

I want to say thank you to dermaviduals and Tea Tonic for supplying these lovely prizes. 

And, of course, I want to say a massive thank you to Michelle Bridges and her awesome crew who have dreamed up, and then made a reality, a program like the 12wbt.  When I started the 12wbt, I thought the program was all about weight loss!  Silly me!  It's about so much more than that...

It's about health, it's about overhauling how we think about ourselves and our potential to reach our goals.  It's about working every day to be the best possible version of ourselves.  It's about support from people you've never met, and meeting new friends with similar goals.

Writing this blog, actually having readers, being nominated and winning a prize....  these things have been a bonus that I never thought would be part of my 12wbt journey. 

Playing catch up.....

It's school holidays here in Victoria and I want to know who the bright spark is who decided to schedule them in the darkest, coldest and wettest time of the year.  Honestly!  Thing 1 and Thing 2 are delightful children generally and I love them both so much my heart swells thinking about it.  But day after day of rain and mud and children at a loose end can strain even the most resilient of mother/child relationships!

Perhaps I should have had more children so Thing 1 and Thing 2 might have had other Things to play - or bicker, fight and run amok - with.  Damn!  Why didn't I think of that earlier?

But the upshot of the holidays has been that I have not been near the laptop.  As a one laptop family, and with children who are 'sooo booooorrrrred', it's the path of least resistance to let them have first dibs on the computer to quiet their discontent.

So I would just like to catch you up on my 12wbt comings and goings over the past week or so.  Firstly, I have lost and put on weight again.  Still hovering around my start weight.  While my exercise has been fine and I have really enjoyed making the effort to do it, you can guess where I have fallen down.....

..... yep, nutrition, food, eating, making sensible choices, planning ahead and organisation.

I have had patches of brilliance with regard to eating cleanly and mindfully.  That has buoyed me.   But I need to be consistent.

The holidays have been a wonderful excuse which I have used to its fullest extent.  Home with the kids, cooking has been an warm, inside activity we can do together.  Away for a few days with family and friends, I used the fact that I didn't have complete control over the menu to pretty much go open slather.

Are you as bored by my lack of knuckling down as I am?  I hear myself each week posting about how I'm going to turn this around, how I am going to introduce little strategies to help me.  I've waxed lyrical about how I'm going to respond to the challenges this round is throwing my way.

But the truth is I have not been a woman of my word.  I have said I would do one thing, and then I have done another.  That is not the way to live life to the fullest. 

This blog is a way for me to write and rant and get my thoughts out of the swirling mass in my head; to try, by editing and rearranging, to make some order and sense of them.  And try as I might, there is no other way to spin what is going on with me.  I am just not doing it.

A very wise woman on the 30+kilos 12wbt Facebook group asked the question today in response to another 12wbt'er having struggles with food - "What is it that you are feeding?"

I will try and work out the answer to that very pertinent question and get back to you.

If any of you have contemplated a similar problem, I'd appreciate hearing how you worked through it.

An homage to my legs....



These are not my legs, but there are similarities.  Source: Pinterest

My legs and I have had a love hate relationship since, as an impressionable 13 year old, several events converged on me in a perfect storm of body issues:

a.  I started to read magazines like Dolly and Seventeen (so sophisticated) and I realised that my legs were not like the legs of the girls in those mags at all.

b.  Someone at school casually mentioned, as we sat sunning our legs one lunchtime, that my calves were huge.  Exact word used, I can remember the incident very clearly.

c. A family member, in a way that exuded pity, told me that I had inherited my legs from a line of the family notorious for having legs shaped like those normally found on a piano.

Never mind that I was very athletic and those legs had taken, or would take, me to state championships for gymnastics, netball and several track and field events.  Never mind that they got me from A to B every single time I asked them to.  Never mind that the rest of me was not a source of pity or wonder, but well within the realms of normal. 

Kim Green - Australian netballer and owner of a magnificently strong and athletic pair of legs
Source: smh.com.au

I really spent a lot of my teenage years (and beyond probably) hating my legs.  Really truly...  how negative and what a monumental waste of my time and energy. 

Now I am a 44 year old - doing the 12wbt to build my fitness and shift a lot of weight.  My legs are now a source of awe for me.  I am not even joking. 

At the start of the 12wbt, I could only do a wall sit for 18 seconds.  A few short months later, I can sit against a wall for minutes, pretty much willy nilly.  My legs have adapted to Spin classes, to doing squats while lifting extra weight (not just my body weight), to rowing and to all sorts of resistance on cross training machines. 

My legs are not going to win any prizes for being long, slender and shapely.  And I have come to the conclusion that I am never going to look good in skinny jeans, even when I am skinny.

Source: pinterest

 

The sad thing is that I've taken so long to be okay with that. 

So, legs, I love that you are both there and that you both work and coordinate so well together.  I hope we can move forward into a future where I look after you and you take me lots of exciting places. 

I'm glad I've reached this point of gratitude for my legs while they are still operating so well, and I can fully appreciate and enjoy that fact!